On leave, work and SOC

Think one year ago, at also around this time poor onion was fretting over his nemesis SOC. He passed it somehow on the 07/02. Miraculousy, he stumbled over sll sorta tough periods and eventually commissioned as an officer. He thought, he had last seen the horrible fact that he has to clear SOC and other physical challenges that well ... challenges this partially round blob of fat. Anyway, fate seems to have landed Onion back into a similar situation ... SOC.

this time, with a meaner course, no structured training nor fellow khakis to train with. He is alone, because somehow having an extra swipe of black over your shoulder says so - that you can do everything. SOC ah SOC. It has really become such a pain i cannot bear with man. =(

I can forsee it flooding my blog again. For it seems no one else but this faceless flickering screen and my own alterego can understand, to feel this PHOBIA of it. Of failing, failing, failing so many countless times. Perhaps it is so, that SOC is mental.

Work has also been stacking up above all this commitments and seriously i feel like a bottled repressed soul sometimes. With almost no one but myself to pull me along. And sometimes when i really cant take it, help is $0.15 away. Kind of. 15cents taught me something valuable today.

that u have done it before and it can be done again, you go C**!

it was the happiest, most encouraging word i got today. thank you!

Work just kinda ended, and my boss kinda hinted that i cant take any leave. I mean, oh man, i really feel damn tired of the whole SAF thingie, with seriously working and working. I really wished someone can understand this and grant me my much awaited for holiday, to take a break from all this hustle and bustle and perhaps focus onto my big guns (ATEC) next year. NSFs really so expendable meh? Not like i dont work hard with stuff what, i also want a break too. boo.

sigh.

With all this said and done. I guess its true that, if there is a will. There is a way. Everything is mental isn't it?

Tommorow shall be a better day.